My Tale Stories

Love is about heart or mind?

2009-09-23T12:17:00.007+07:00

Been a while since my last post ...
Really had no time to write due to my tests and stuffs >_<

-- Love is about heart or mind? --

As far as I observed, people get "crazy" and "loose their mind" when they fall in love.
Well, I've been there too, where I lost my logic and felt like there are many flowers bloom on the stars.

Since a few months ago, I have a crush. (haha... after a long while =D)
But this one is kinda different.
Why? Coz everytime I fall in love with someone, I just feel that I'm in love without knowing why.
But now, it all began with my logic.

He's really an ideal man.
Smart, good looking, has manner, you name it ...
Everything that a girl looking for, he almost has them all, I think.
First time I saw him, that thing was crossing my mind.
'Gonna be very lucky to have a boyfriend like him.'

Eventually, from that simple thought, I'm starting to feel love is in the air when he's around.

But my question now is, can you love somebody not just with your heart, but also with your mind?
I mean, everytime I fall in love I often loose my insanity and feel like my heart is pumping my heart through my brain until it blows out.
But in this case, I could make it even with my logic.
My heart is pumping alrite, but not 'till it blows my head off.
I could see the flowers blooming together with nice breeze when he's around.
I always enjoying his small attentions (well, maybe that attention's not just for me since 'he has manners' ) and enjoying giving him some attention as far as I could give.
I know my heart longing for him, but not even dare trying to search for him.
Not because I don't want to, coz I'm afraid if he leaves.

I mean like, I know so well that I really head over heals with him now, but my experiences taught me to use my logic before I loose my mind.
In other words, I don't wanna get hurt by loosing him in everyway.
But is it just alrite if you use 50% of your mind when you fall in love?
Can you say that it's love, or any other thing?

Hmm, still try to find an answer for that ....

~ Being in love: heart and logic, could they go on together, or you think only with your heart? ~

Spring Break a.k.a Haru Yasumi

2009-04-25T09:31:00.026+07:00

So, the Spring Break is over and start to get back to reality.
Study and study and study =(

Since I almost never speak the Peter Pan's language during holiday, I have to catch up many things this term ... Yaiks >_< I didn't have a chance to write on Spring Break (coz I was really enjoying my time on Haru Yasumi =P), I'll share a little bit of my Spring Break in this Peter Pan Land today =)

There was a festival around the famous shrines along the Higashiyama Street which I attended in the first week of my holiday.
The festival called Kyoto Higashiyama Hanatourou 2009. Hana means flower. So the festival is all about flowers and lite ups to welcoming the Spring ^^.

One of the shrine at sunset

At Nite Time ^^

One of flower creation

A kind of wood lantern ^^

Another flower creation

Lamp creation by one of art student

One of Sakura's creation

There's a lamp inside of each bamboo

Then I spent a day to Saga Arashiyama.
A friend came and he wanted to go to Arashiyama since he know about this Bamboo Grove from the movie, Memoirs of Geisha.
Well, coz I never know where this place is (I'm suckz with maps and directions =P), I asked Astroboy to be the tour guide (thanks a lot for your help =D)
It was so beautiful and the Cherry Blossoms started to bloom there.

The Garden of Tenryuu-ji

The Cherry Blossom

Us in front of the Bamboo Grove

The famous Bamboo Grove

Finally my dream came true, coz I landed my feet at the Universal Studio of Japan at Osaka with some friends ^^
It was soooooo fun !!!!!
Especially when we could have discount for the ticket (yay !!! ^^) and they have this Magical Starlight Parade at night =D

In front of the Universal Studio's globe ^^

The biggest Turkey leg I ever ate !!!

Spiderman Adventure !!!

One of my idol: Woody Woodpecker =D

In front of Snoopy pond ^^

Few days later, my best friend, Josefin, spent couple days at my place before she got back for real to Sweden =(
It was a blast !!!! ^^
Miss her again while I'm writing this =(

Having a relaxing time together =D

Kou-san came later after her part time job ^^

I went to Kobe for the 2nd time with my beloved Taiwanese best friends ^^
This time I had a chance to see Kobe at nite, and it was soooo beautiful !!!

Inside Kawasaki Museum

View from Kobe Tower ^^

In front of Kobe view at night ^^

Then I went with my apartment friend for 3 days to Hiroshima !!!!!
Hiroshima is surely a beautiful town if I may say.
Since I like old town, Hiroshima has everything !!!!
It still has trams to take you anywhere (and it was cheap !!!).
We went to Miyajima by ferry and after that we visited this Genbaku Dome, a place which got bombed on 6 August 1945.

Really want to get back to that town again someday =)

A statue at Bomb Monument

The building that got bombed in WW II at Genbaku Dome

At Miyajima, the symbol of Hiroshima City

The Chery Blossoms were starting to bloom in Kyoto !!!!!
Didn't want to loose the moment (Cherry Blossoms which known as Sakura only blooms once in a year, just for 1 week !!!!), I went several times to watch them (this called Hanami, which means watching and having a picnic under Sakura tree) with some of my friends.

In the middle of Sakura !!! =D

Cherry Blossoms !!!!

In the middle of Sakura trees =)

Playing water on a bright day at Kamogawa ^^

At the end of my holiday, I was invited by my lovely Taiwanese friends to have a little party since one of them having birthday and 2 of them just moved to a new apartment ^^.
Was soooo fun !!!!! (thank you Chin & Shin-san =D)

Nice that Chin-san loves his Totoro present ^^

It was Achang's birthday ^^

Well, that's what I could share for now.

Have to get back to reality soon. Homeworks and tests are waiting !!!!

YAIKS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >_<

Final's Over, Welcome Spring Break !!!

2009-03-09T10:34:00.022+07:00

So, final tests are over !!!!!
The results were okay, since I really didn't study hard due to sickness that made me had to lay on bed just 2 days before final tests began >_<

But on Grad Day I got an award for my 100 percent attendance and never been late for school =)

At the night, my class having "shabu-shabu" for a little farewell party coz some of my Swedish friends are going back for good to Sweden.

After "shabu-shabu" we decided to have karaoke time.

It was a blast and faboulous !!!!!! Sooooooooooooo fuuuuuunnnnnn !!!!!! =D

The next day, me, Josefin and some other Swedish guys went to Onsen at Kurama Mountain. Having a hot spring bath in the open air was very relieving after all stress and chaotic we had ^^ After that we went to eat this delicious Ramen.

And after say goodbye to everyone, Josefin took these silver tiny things out of her pocket and said, "Please take good care of it."
I was stunned with my jaws hanging =O
She handed over her "killing machine" to me !!!! (Thanks a lot, Jossan ^^)

Well, I'm kinda sensitive person in some circumstances, so I couldn't stop crying that nite =P
I ended up calling the Astroboy, and he helped me to practice.

I think I made a tiny progress, except for the method how to turn that machine =(

At the beginning of the week I wish that that week will end smoothly and happily, and it was !!! =D

I still have half year to struggle in this Peter Pan Land, but thanks a lot, Everyone, for the greatest memories we've shared ^^

Hope to see you all again someday !!!!!

February With Love

2009-02-21T22:10:00.014+07:00

And again, it's February, with Valentine in it.
As I've posted years ago, February never been my month.
I broke up with 2 of my ex boyfriends on February, and always had suckz val's day.

But this February is kinda special if I may say ^^

First week of February, me and Josefin take part in reading competition after we got selected to represent our class.
It surely made me very nervous.
Everybody who has to speak on stage in front of hundreds people will have this same fear, I suppose.
I tried my best to conquered my fear, faced the audience, and definitely tried not to forgot what I've been memorize for the past 2 weeks before the competition.
I also pray so that Josefine could find her voice back since she lost it just a week before the competition !!! And Thank GOD she got her voice back right on the day !!! ^^

What I've thinking only get on the stage, read fast, and get down quickly !!!
Frankly, when I got chosen, I almost told my teacher to find my replacement since it makes me trembling even more everytime I think about talking alone on a wide stage, in front of people who might be staring at and judge you (well, this is what I've thought though =P).
But there's something that blocked me. Seems like I have to face this fear.

And it surely shocked me when I heard them called my name to go on stage and receive the award.
Never even think about it even for a glimpse coz everybody spoke in much better way than me ! Thanks GOD and everybody who support me so I didn't back off =)

Few days before Valentine me and my friends made chocolates together.
One day before Valentine I got chocolates from my friends ^^
And on Valentine's eve, I went for clubbing with my Taiwanese friends, and we surely had a blast !!! =D

Lucky that there was no police along the way. Coz there was no train left on 3 a.m, and taxi is very expensive, my friend sent me home with his bike (and I sat behind as passenger, which is definitely breaking the Peter Pan Land's law =/) which took like almost 45 minutes to reach my place from the club and took his breath away I suppose. (Thanks a lot, Shin-san =D)

So this year's Valentine was definitelly not suckz as before.
Coz I have lovely friends around me =)

But I'm gonna get unpleasure closer of this month.
FINAL TEST IS COMING =(
Wish me luck on this one =D

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2009

2009-01-16T20:51:00.006+07:00

Kinda late, but since it's still January, I want to wish everybody a HAPPY NEW YEAR ^^

Hope this year will be much, much better than before ;)

Anyway, new year's eve in this Peter Pan Land wasn't like in my hometown or anywhere else in this world.

There was no 'hanabi' (fireworks) & no trumpets =(

But I went to Yazaka Shrine, where most of people in this Peter Pan Land go every new year to spend their new year's eve and pray, with some friends. And I think that is all about.

Spent time with friends will always made a great memory ^^

And yet, few weeks later, I went to one of my friend's place and he teached me and some others to make this Taiwanese food.

What a great time !!!!!! =)

So once again, HAPPY NEW YEAR, Everyone !!!!!!!! ^^

Kobe

2009-01-12T17:43:00.008+07:00

The next trip in my Winter vacation is Kobe.

And as usual, me, Josefin & Han don't have any particular plan.

Just a little talk in a cafe, and kaboom, we were in Kobe the next day.

Kobe is an export-import city in this Peter Pan Land.

My teacher told us one day in our class that about 10 years ago there was a big earthquake happened in Kobe and destroyed the ports and buildings.

From several parts of this land that I've been visited, I really fall in love with this city !!!!

Just felt so friendly ^^

So we visited this Nankin Machi, a Chinatown in Kobe.

Pity that it wasn't China New Year, so we didn't have a chance to see Lion Dance.

After Chinatown, we tried to search our way to the port.

And we made it again by walking !!! ^^

Took some pictures of the destroyed port and beautiful sceneries.

We look again to the map, and there's this European Town Houses.

Kinda difficult and very tired to search this place since it was up on the hill.

But after we got there, I didn't regret that we walked almost 1,5 hours to reach there ^^

What a great trip !!!!

Nara

2009-01-09T22:56:00.017+07:00

At winter vacation I went to Nara with my friends, Josefin from Sweden, and Han from Hong Kong.

Nara is a small, beautiful town. It's one of the oldest city in Peter Pan Land and once been the capital city.

There were not many things we could see here except for the shrine and "Shika" (deers).

Han & Josefin tried to communicate with the Shika ^^

It's me, in front of the Shrine ^^

It happened also that I went here for the second time with some friends from Peter Pan Land, Yamamoto Akiko & Maki.
This time I tried to feed the Shika.
Even there was no food left in my hand, it seemed that those Shika were trying to find something by sniffing our bags and jackets.
Surely it was terrifying me !!!!
But it was really fun though ^^

me & Maki-chan ^^

me & Akiko-chan ^^

Oww, almost forgot that we went to Nara-Machi where we could see the way how to produce Mochi Cakes ^^
Sorry for the upside-down picture, but happy watching !!!! =)

The Miracle of Nature

2008-12-26T22:24:00.009+07:00

Today, when I was going to Shugakuin Station to catch my friends at Mototanaka Station, there's one point when this tiny snow hit my glasses, I looked up to the sky.

It thrilled me that today is snowing in Peter Pan Land.

I never seen snow "live" in my entire life !!!

When I turned my face to other side, I couldn't believed what I saw !!!!

I closed my eyes, and opened it over and over again until 3 times.

Yes, it was a Shooting Star !!!!!

It was 16.45 p.m., but it was a Shooting Star !!!!!

My first time to see one ^^

There are many love songs which mentioned Shooting Star in their lyrics.
They said, if you're seeing one, you should wish for what you will.
Sounds stupid, but I really did my wishing ^^

Hope what I wished for may come true, like those tale stories :)

Killing Machine

2008-12-23T05:35:00.006+07:00

And again, another tale story from Peter Pan Land.

After a very awful eve, -- thanks to somebody -- I ended up at a friend's (I always see him as one of my bestfriend in this Peter Pan Land though) place, had a chit-chat, and ate at a Ramen restaurant in the neighbourhood (surely, it tasted really good!!! And I ate a medium size which was in a HUGE bowl!!! Please don't try this at home :p). I didn't know how did he come with this such a ... well, you could say 'brilliant' idea, but for me it was a 'deeply madly NIGHTMARE' -- was it because at 12.30 a.m people couldn't think clearly even without drinks???

Shortly, he made me did my second effort to mount that 'machine without engine' !!! (Who's that genious inventor of this 'killing machine' anyway????)
I could drive 4 wheels in the fastest speed with those zig-zag touch ... But this one???
Shoot !

First Lesson: JUST MOUNT THE BIKE AND TRY TO FORGET YOUR FEAR!

So it happened that the bike was a man's bike, with kinda big size wheels.
I had to mounted it and stood on my tiptoes.
(I had been here almost a month ago with my first trainer, to mounted the bike.
But it still scary as the first!!!)
I could feel my hands shaking and grabbed the handle bar strongly.
I kept saying to myself, 'If you could ride this one, it's easier to ride woman's size bike! Just do it! He'll be there and won't let anything bad happened! Don't be scared!'
The more I said it, the more my hand getting stiffed.
But anyway, I already on the bike. One thing down!

Second Lesson: BALANCE

"Put your feet on the pedal. The right first, then the left."
Yeah, yeah, so easy to say that, but my heart beat faster than an F1 racer!
It was really hard for me to keep my balance only on 2 wheels.
Was it because of my 'chubby' tummy? (does it count? Haha ..)
"It's okay, I'm holding you."
He surely hold me (if he wasn't, I really gonna hate him for the rest of my life :p).
But many times I had to make sure that he's strong enough to hold me in case I landed unprettily. (no offense, Mate ... But you're loosing your weight! -- In good way, though :D)
It went to the left, right, left, right, and I was about to scream!
No, I did scream I guess.
Why it had to be unbalanced?
"You have to ride it a little to the left and to the right. So it could keep your balance."
Hmppppffff ... How could I think when my brain got down to my leg??
Lucky that he could read my mind and my body language clearly without words (maybe this could be counted as one of your talent? ;) ).
Coz it happened that I forgot every languages in this world (almost included mine) and just made some stupid alphabets, "Bbbbbb .... Yyyyy .... Wwww ..."
And I was shaking even more !!!
"You're a mean teacher!!!" -- this line, I said it without any difficulties.
And he just laughed. (I really don't like his laughed that 'morning' :p, but big thanks for his patient ^^)
He pushed me to made a few rounds in that tiny park. So, 2 lessons down!

Third Lesson: PADDLE YOUR PEDAL

After a break with an ice cream (sorry, Dude ... I forgot that I had mine so we had to shared yours instead :p) in the cold of the winter's wind and an attempt of sweet escape (nice try to pull my bag, Man), here comes another one.
"Now try to paddle the pedals."
This one not as hard as before.
I just tried to follow the pedal's movement.
But surely, unbalanced!!!
"Yyyyy .... Bbbbb ..."
"If you feel that you're gonna fall that way, you should turn the handle bar to other way."
Okay ... this part, I was that close to cry and gave up.
I was scared !!!! I was trembling !!!!
Well, I believe he's an Astroboy.
He won't let me fall.
So, I had a few attempts. Mission 3, accomplished!

Fourth Lesson: PULL THE BREAK!

"We try to go that way, and just pull the break to stop."
I talked to myself, 'Okay, grab the handle bar, put your right foot on the pedal, paddle it a little to the front, get your left foot ...'
"Try to paddle it faster."
'Ow, okay, faster ...'
But, but, but, it was too fast !!!!!
So I pulled the break.
And I was about to fall !!!
"Oh, did I tell you to pull it slowly, like from half until it stop?"
(Oh, great! Now I had a forgetful teacher -- appearently the Astroboy transformed into "Nobita", one of the character in Doraemon comic :( )
"What???"
"Yeah, don't pull the break full. It would make sudden stop and make you unbalance. Maybe you should try to use your leg and slide to stop."
So there is another way to stop this thing.
But my hands' reflects are much better than my legs on this 2 wheels thing.
In every attempt, I always use the break.
But I was getting better though. Half, 'till it stops and put your feet on the ground, rite, Sensei? ;)

When I was sitting, "So, you wanna call it a day?" he said.
I was about to clapped my hands and nodded before he continue, "Or you want to take challenge?"
I really hate that word ... Challenge ...! I think I could do this one.
So I stepped up and ... Weeee ... It ran smoothly (even though I really have to work on that break thing) !!!
And he wasn't even help me (I asked him to do so, yet not being far from me ... thank God he's a good runner :p).
VICTORY !!!!!

"You made a huge progress!"
'Coz you're such a mean teacher ... In a good way ^^'

I'm about to conquer this phobia ;)
-- The answer of handling phobia that you got from unpleasent memories, find someone who could get back your trust. --
Hope I don't forget these lessons :D

This post is dedicated to my patient, forgetful, and mean teacher, Lionel Lin ^^
Thank you so much and waiting for next lessons ;) -- Just let me catch my breath first :p

And to the first person who dragged me out from my warm room on one night and brought back a bit of trust in this 'killing machine', Josefin Sohl ^^
Thank you for believing in me that I could do this. Never forget your optimism ;)

Do You Believe In Zodiacs?

2008-12-20T22:17:00.016+07:00

I never believe in what so called "Astrology Forecast".
Coz for me, no one knows what will happened tomorrow.

-- Yesterday is a past, tomorrow is a mistery and today is a gift. That's why it calls present --

So, whatever will be, just try to enjoy your present and just look from different perspectives if it doesn't met your expectation.

In spite of that, I do believe in people characteristic which controlled by astrology. Of course, generally :)
Main reason is when I see myself and other friends who has same zodiac as I am, I could see the red line that connected us.
So one day, I was attempted to read an article about characteristics of Astrological Signs.

After my long research of who I am, finally I do know who I am, my strengths and weaknesses.
And this is what I wrote on a site about who I am before I even took a glimpse on that article.

ABOUT ME :
-----------------

1. A very quiet person ... only when I'm sleeping :D
2. I do enjoying delicious foods and eating outside ... Because I can't cook :p
3. Always pay attention to others ... Well, that's what most people say
4. Understanding person ... When I'm not being selfish :p
5. Too honest ... Sometimes I could make people get shocked just being too honest ... hehehehehe ... peace, Man :D
6. Have a high selfconfidence ... Here comes an analogy ... I always have a dream of being a celebrity :p
7. Mellow Yellow ... but only when i fall in love :p
8. I can't handle the clicking sound of camera and I HAVE TO BE IN the picture :D
9. Big fans of NARCISM ^^
10. I could get pissed off easily but in the other hand it's not hard for me to forgive :) --- it's true !!!
11. If I could win, why should I loose? ;) -- A friend said, "You are a fighter and fighters don't die!!"

** Anyway, what you see is what you get ;) **

From the description above, if you've read about astrology, what is my zodiac sign?
Precisely !!!!
I'm a LEO woman :)

Now let's try to compare my own opinion about me and this article about Leo Zodiac Sign. Just put attention to the yellow sentences if you're too lazy too read 'em all. Those are the similar one with what I've wrote above.

Leo Strength Keywords:
- Confident
- Ambitious
- Generous
- Loyal
- Encouraging

Leo Weakness Keywords:
- Pretentious
- Domineering
- Melodramatic
- Stubborn
- Vain

Leo in a Nutshell:

Leo is the lion, this well suited symbol represents Leo very well. They possess a kingdom which they protest and cherish. They are high esteemed, honorable and very devoted to themselves in particular! The kingdom could be anything from work to home to a partner, whatever it is, you rule it. Leo is always center stage and full of flair, they enjoy basking in the spotlight. A Leo always makes their presence known. Leo are full of energy that acts like a magnet for other people. Others are attracted to Leo's wit, charm, and what they have to say for they speak of things grand and very interesting. Leo will never settle for second best. They want only the best which can cause lavish excessive spending habits as they enjoy their life of luxury, which is all to easily justified by the grand and magnificent Leo! Public image is very important to Leo, with luxurious possessions and ways of life, this keeps the public image in high standing. They will do whatever it takes to protect their own reputation. Leos are very generous, kind and openhearted people. If a Leo is crossed, they will strike back with force but they are not one to hold a grudge, they easily forgive, forget and move on. Leos are always trying to make things right in the world, they have larger then life emotions and they need to feel like they have accomplished something at the end of the day. They react to situations with action instead of sitting back and thinking about it, they are not impulsive however because they look at the future and consider consequences of their actions.

These what I've seen too in my friends who has same astrology.

So, do you believe in Characteristics of Astrology now?
Just find it yourself ;)
Sometimes people don't know who he/she really are.
So if you just try to take a glimpse on your own Zodiac Character, you'll recognise a little about yourself, your strengths and weaknesses.
It will help you to rise your strengths and hide your weaknesses :)

It won't be a sin just to take a glimpse, right? ;)

Peter Pan Land

2008-12-09T17:57:00.011+07:00

Maybe it's a little bit too late to share my life in what they say "The Land of Sunrise".
But I do wanna share my experiences and suggestions with the world.

First suggest : If you're an introvert person, TRY TO OPEN YOURSELF!

Basically, I'm an extrovert person. But since I've been here, I became a little bit introvert a.k.a. little bit shy.
Yeah, it surely troubled me to find a friend.
I think I'm too .. how do you say? ... too careful, since everybody came from different countries and has different culture.
After 1 month, I pushed myself to be "the real me".
So, I made a step to know a friend :)

Second suggest: For you who can't ride a bicycle, LEARN AS FAST AS YOU CAN!!!

Well, I can't ride it. If you have read my article before, I have trauma from my past. That's why I'm afraid of riding one until now.
Shoot, bicycle is the most convinient transportation in Kyoto. Everybody goes everywhere with bike. Included my friends.

First I have a friend here, it made me even lonely since I can't go anywhere with her coz she always go everywhere with other friends, WITH BICYCLE.
Not because she didn't ask me to come along.
But I have to face the reality that I could caused trouble if I come along.
They go with bike, and I have to walk (or take a bus?).
So we have to discuss about the meeting point, on what time we meet, etc.,etc.
And this way, they cannot enjoy their trip.
I don't want to be a burden for them. So I try to get use to be alone.
So, this leads to the next suggest.

Third suggest : If you happened to be alone, DON'T AFRAID OF BEING A GEEK!!!

So, since I socialized only at school, I spent most of my time at my room, ALONE. I found that my laptop is my very best friend. From it I could talk with my family, friends in my homeland, and share these all to you.
In other hand, coz I can't do anything else, I have plenty time to study -- well, it's my first point of going here though.
Well, it meets its goal ^^
So being a geek is a choice, not a sin ;)
So you study, study, and study, and you met your goal.
Don't be happy !!!!!
You're mastering the theory ONLY.
Please continue reading ....
Scroll down little bit ...

Not yet ....
Please scroll ...

A little bit more ...

Stop!!!

Next suggestion : If a stranger buzzed you and you don't understand what he/she talking about, DON'T GO OUT AND MEET THEM!

This why I said you're mastering the theory only.
It happened in a sunny day. Someone buzzed me and he said he's from THE TV company. --- The school informed that there would be an officer from TV company who gonna check out the TV programs. Anyway, that person already came 2 days before. --
So, I asked (with the theory I've learned) what he's up to. And he explained, bla bla bla ... I could catched that he's from the same company, want to checked, and I didn't understand the rest.
Well, I come from a land where it's very impolite if you don't meet your guest when it happened that you already take the conversation (and again, it's culture matter).
So, I went out and he explained more. But still I couldn't understand what he said (hey, I just learned for a month ... duh !!!).
So, I tried to find the landlord of my apartment. Lucky that she was around.
They talked and talked and talked (still didn't understand what they're talking, but I could heard something with game on TV though).
After 10 minutes, the TV man gave me a brochure and he went out.
Then the landlord said, "Next time, please don't answer a buzz from someone you don't know! He is a salesman. And lately there are many bad people around, you know?"
(Haha ... She was a bit angry. These lines and tones I could understand clearly :p)

Days gone by and step by step I made friends. Really great even sometimes I feel lonely since I don't have any friends from the same country and can't talk in my own language! Night mare :(
(Can you imagine that I'm totally alone in this Peter Pan Land??? Shoot!!!!)
One day, I received news from my family.

Further suggestion: Even if you don't have talent at all, COOK YOUR OWN DISHES!

At my homeland, several times I almost burned the kitchen, often cut my fingers, always had awful taste of dishes. Clumsy or very untalented?? Anyway, that's why I gave up cooking. And since everything aren't too expensive, I always eat outside. Comfortable, tasty, convenient! So, from those backgrounds, my family suggested me to buy what you call here "bento". Very convenient indeed! Until it happened to be recession in any part of this world! Ohhh ... Another nightmare!!!!!! You could guess the rest.
Since I can't cook (soon I have to buy all those expensive cooking stuffs and I think I have to learn to eat those awful taste foods) I feel so doomned :(

Well, for today these all I could share from Peter Pan Land ;)

Happy reading ... Comments? :D

Phobia

2008-11-14T21:59:00.007+07:00

I think many people has this term in their dictionary.
I'm one of those who has this term in my own dictionary.

Definition of phobia that I get from an online article :

An intense, unrealistic fear, which can interfere with the ability to socialize, work, or go about everyday life, that is brought on by an object, event or situation.

I have 3 phobias in my dictionary.
Phobia of heights, clowns, and riding bicycle.
I really don't know how did I get my phobias of heights and clowns.
It's just in the blood.
But for the ride bicycle one, it's because I was hit 2 times by car and truck.

Today I'm proudly saying that I managed 2 of my phobias.

So we were on trip to this lake, Biwa Ko.
It has hills and ports.
I was kinda frightened at first.
'Do I have to get up there? Do I have to? Do I have to?'
I don't know how, but all I know I was up there tooking some pictures.

Then an hour later, I saw a line of people who's waiting for taking picture with the mascot.
Well, somehow I call it "clown".
A friend ask me to come along.
And I said, "No, I wanna go somewhere and take some autumn leaves pictures."
And didn't realize how, I was in the line, took the "clown's" puffy hand, and hear the sound of my camera clicking.

So how to handle the phobia that you don't know how and from where you get it from, basically just face the phobia itself and DON'T THINK. JUST DO IT!

But I still figuring the way to deal with phobia that someone gets from unpleasure memories.
Hmmmmmmm .....

Not Me, But YOU

2008-10-23T07:46:00.005+07:00

I know that it's hard for us to have this relationship from the beginning.
I know that the distance between us now rise many misunderstandings.
I know that we both try so hard to work it on.
I know that we both brave enough to make something impossible become possible.
I know that we both sacrifice so many things to be in this level.
I step up from the beginning and so do you.
You made your promise, and so do I.
And that's all because we love each other.

That's the reason why I became more aware and careful.
So no one could take away our love and what we build together.
But why should you do such stupid things which could jeopardize our efforts just to stay together?
Soon or later I have to be the one who fly away or you'll be the one who leave me behind.
That's the risk of the path you've made.
Not I made, but YOU made.
Darn, why you have to be so innocent?
You pushed me to the edge.
You made me standing between two roads.
Why I always be the one who has to think and make decision ???

Now I let you decide what the best for us.
Not me, but YOU ...

-- To whom it may concern, you know how much I love you.
But what you've done made me even confuse to make steps with you. --

Dare to Have The Highest Dream

2008-10-08T09:05:00.004+07:00

I always have this never ending dream since I was a child.
Going to Japan and study there is my biggest dream ever!
Most of them said to me not to have that kind of dream for it will hurts you when you can't reach it.
It's true.
But I can't stop thinking about it.
I always bring it in my mind and in my heart.

"There's nothing impossible for God. If God say so, then it happens!"

So I still dare to dream even maybe the possibility was only 5%.
They might think I was joking if I told them that someday I will be in Japan.

But then, after 23 years of dreaming, here I am.
Landing in Kyoto, Japan, to study language.
Thank you for you all who support me mentally and financially.
May God bless you all always.

Don't ever scared to have the highest dream in your life.
Sky is the limit and there's nothing impossible for GOD to make your "impossible" dream come true.
Just put it in your mind and pray.
If it's not meeting your expectation just believe that something much, much better will replace it for you.

My Sunset

2008-09-07T18:54:00.008+07:00

Dulu ...
Ketika ia mendekat, aku menjauh
Ketika ia datang, aku menghindar
Ketika ia diam, aku mencari
Ketika ia curi pandang, aku menolehkan wajah
Ketika ia menghubungi, kubanting gagang telepon

Kini ...
Saat ia tersenyum, kurasa bahagia
Saat ia diam, kurasa sedih
Saat ia tersakiti karenaku, kurasa dunia runtuh
Saat kumerindunya, kuharap ia ada di sampingku
Saat kudengar suaranya di seberang, kutersenyum
Saat ia datang, kurentangkan tangan
Saat ia mengecupku, kupejamkan mata
Saat ia membisikkan "kucinta kamu", kusambut dengan "aku juga cinta kamu"
Saat ia berdiri di hadapanku, kuingin waktu berhenti walau sesaat

Satu hal yang kusadari
Aku mencintainya, mencintai cinta terlarangku
Dari dirinya kurasakan kesempurnaan
Itu saja ...

-- I do love you, My Sunset ...
Even I realize I can't hold you forever like a sunset, you're the best thing that happened to me by making my world so beautiful ...
Mauliateda, Ayang :) --

First Post in 2008

2008-05-20T16:06:00.004+07:00

Almost 1 year since my latest post.
Don't have time to write.
Sometimes everything's static, sometimes everything's like roller coaster which makes me can't think fast with my hand on keyboard :D

New job, new collegas, but same old life story.
Kinda have something in my mind, yet seems to long to be written.

Will seek time to write, this puzzles in my head.

So, just wait for the date ;)

Jangan Tanya Kapan

2007-09-20T20:08:00.000+07:00

Akhirnya setelah sekian lama, sekarang gue nyoba nulis lagi.

Topik gue kali ini terpicu ketika sesorang bilang sama gue, “Kapan dong, nyusul gue married? Loe nggak kepingin ‘tu, punya suami ‘n anak? Kalo loe main2 mulu, mana bisa loe cari future husband?”

Well, ada orang yang bahagia dengan hidup melajang, ada yang milih untuk nggak terikat, ada juga yang mutusin untuk berkeluarga.
Kira2, gue termasuk di golongan yang mana, ya?
Hehehe …

GUE, cewek yang baru aja nginjek usia 27. (Heeee??? 27???? Shoot !!!!)
Untuk ukuran orang2 jadul, usia gue udah termasuk “renta” dan HARUS segera cari pendamping hidup.
Yah, banyak siy yang udah nanya “kapan”, secara sepupu2 dari bokap gue yang seumuran gue, rata2 udah punya anak 2.
Tapi untuk kehidupan “Metropolis”, (secara gue rasa gue termasuk dalam golongan ini :p) justru umur gue sedang blooming2nya.

Jujur, gue termasuk dalam kategori yang punya keinginan untuk berkeluarga.
Punya suami dan 4 anak (halah … gimana ngidupinnya coba? :D).
Tapi jujur juga, saat ini gue belum terpikir untuk menampuk tanggung jawab seumur idup.
Terikat sama satu orang, now and forever.
Banyak orang yang saat ini udah punya pacar, dan tinggal nunggu tanggal bagusnya aja.
Di kaca mata gue, they deserve someone much, much better.
Tapi karena pertanyaan “KAPAN” itu semakin menjadi2, they thought what they embrace right now is the best, meskipun gue rasa mereka juga masih bimbang dengan pikirannya sendiri.
Munafik kalo gue bilang gue sama sekali nggak kepikiran untuk punya pacar, dan suatu saat nanti gue punya keluarga sendiri.
Untuk saat ini, nggak munafik kalo gue juga pingin punya someone special.
Tapi gue nggak mau maksa, dan gue nggak mau ngerasa ketakutan ato tertekan dengan apa kata orang.

Can you imagine?
If, ONLY IF, I’m too scared.
Gue terlalu takut untuk nggak menikah dalam waktu dekat (mengingat usia gue yang terus nambah dari detik ke detik).
Dan di saat itu ada seseorang yang PDKT, ‘n finally gue main “tabrak-lari” saking gue parno: ‘Kalo bukan dia, gue harus nunggu berapa lama lagi? Nanti orang lain bilang apa kalo gue belum merit2?’, sementara ketakutan gue occupied logika dan hati nurani gue.
Then I’m married to him. Tapi karena emang dari awal udah “tabrak-lari”, di tengah jalan gue bacet2, bahkan penyok2. Di saat seperti itu, siapa yang mau tanggung jawab? Mereka yang udah desek gue untuk memilih?
Ah, paling mereka cuma bisa bilang, “Sabar yaaa …” sembari ngelus2 pundak gue.
STANDAR !
Siapa yang susah atawa stres? Siapa yang bakal rontok2 nyeselin nasib? Pastinya KITA SENDIRI lah.
Gue percaya bahwa segala sesuatunya akan indah pada waktunya.
Tuhan nggak tidur. Dia akan kasih kita yang terbaik. Itu gue yakini terus dalam hati gue.

Banyak contoh kasus yang gue lihat, di mana usia pernikahan seseorang cuma seumur jagung.
Karena nggak cocoklah (jawaban terbodoh yang selalu dilontarin orang ;( ), karena inilah, itulah …

Anyway, gue ngerasa Tuhan sayang sama gue.
Karena gue masih merasa bahagia dengan keadaan gue yang sekarang.
Dengan temen2 gue, yang selalu ada buat gue, kapanpun dan di manapun :)
Thank you, GOD …

Goggle V

2007-09-17T22:20:00.000+07:00

Sebenernya gue belum tau mau nulis apa.
Akhir2 ini gue belum lagi tergelitik untuk nulis.
But, karena minggu lalu Si Gembul balik ke Indo, I'm kinda miss my very best friend, Indie.
So, gue posting youtube aja kali yaaa :)

Hopefully Goggle V will reunited by this end of year ;)

Kakoii !!!!

2007-05-31T21:19:00.000+07:00

Yamapi to Kame, zettai kakoii desu :D

Ghost Whisperer

2007-05-21T16:55:00.000+07:00

Saat ini gue lagi termehe-mehe dengan film serinya Jennifer Love Hewitt (JLH) yang Ghost Whisperer.

Gue nontonnya sampe nggak berenti2.

Selain emang karena gue tertarik dengan hal2 yang berbau supranatural, si Jim, suaminya itu, cihuy banget.
Bener2 gentleman abiz !!!!
Dia bener2 tau banget dengan keadaannya Melinda (JLH) yang bisa ngeliat hal2 gaib, menerima istrinya apa adanya dengan segala kelebihan dan kekurangannya, dewasa, kebapakan, bertanggung jawab, melindungi, dan dia sangat amat pengertian sekali.
Dia juga sabaaaarrrr banget.

Bener2 gambaran sosok lelaki yang selalu ada di benak gue selama ini.

Is there someone like him out there for me? I hope so :)

ANATOMY

2007-05-19T16:01:00.001+07:00

Just have this on my thought today.
Women's anatomy, nope, MY anatomy -- which are not perfect for most people, but so perfect for myself -- :D

Part 1: SKIN

For most of Indonesian girls, have dark skin is such a sin.
Why?
Coz most of Indonesian men prefer women with light skin than dark.
That's why many girls making efforts to get their skin lighter with those A-Z cosmetics.

I am one of the Indonesian girls who has middle-dark skin.
And guess what? I'm so happy with what I have.
In fact, I'm still trying to make my skin more tant.
In my opinion being dark is very sexy.

Part 2: NOSE

How about nose?
Many girls try to do plastic surgeries to make their nose higher.
Haha ... I have little nose.
And yet I feel that my nose is so cute :D

Part 3: EYES

These days glasses become one of trend fashions.
I can't stay away from my glasses.
And it makes my eyes more tiny.
But hell, little eyes are sexy, right? :D

Part 4: HAIR

Some like straight hair and some like curly/wavy hair.
When I was young (not because that I'm old now) straight hair became trend.
I had wavy hair and never done anything with my hair.
But now many people said that I shouldn't do anything with my hair coz it grows beautiful with that wave. (And now it's one of the trend.)

Part 5: BREASTS (Ups ... Should I write it in small caps?)

Most men like the huge one.
And women try to fullfill that stupid demanding.
Mine ... well, you tell me :D
Yet I believe in something that I won't write it here.
Thank GOD I still have perfect hills :)

Part 6: HEIGHT

For most people being 165-170 cm is ideal for a woman. (Especially when you have dreams to walk on catwalk as models.)
I'm 156 cm. But it becomes an advantage.
Coz eventhough someday I have a 160 cm boyfriend, he's still taller then me ;)

Conclusion: In my own point of view

Having a perfect anatomy like a model is not everything.
You should see it from other side.
Coz when you grow old, everything will change.
You're not as beautiful as you used to be when you were young.
Eventhough I'm not denying that first impression when you meet someone is your outlook coz how you could know someone's inner when you first meet him/her.

"Inner beauty comes from a good soul. And it's the most important of all."

And I'll make every single effort to outer my inner one ;)
How about you?

Nggak Penting

2007-05-16T17:50:00.000+07:00

Rencananya gue pingin stay di rumah aja hari ini.
Tapi tiba2 banget gue tergelitik untuk ke Mangga Didut secara udah lama banget nggak beli DVD.
So, jadilah gue ke Mangdu sama adik gue ‘n nyokap.

Sampe di sana, pas lagi jalan ke arah Mall Mangga Dua, ada yang nyolek bahu gue (secara gue pake tank-top, berasalah gue dicolek).
Langsunglah gue sedikit noleh, ngelirik pake ujung mata (coz gue pikir, bisa jadi gue dikerjain cowok iseng).
Tapi ternyata itu temen SMA gue, yang juga pernah satu kampus beda jurusan sama gue.
Pas gue ngelirik ke sebelahnya, dia ternyata bareng sama temen yang lain, cowok juga, yang gue tau dia satu SMA juga sama gue, cuma gue lupa siapa namanya :p
Keterlaluan deh gue. Padahal, si “temen” ini dulunya salah satu gebetan cewek2 satu angkatan gue karena selain pinter, doi guanteng gitu (kata mereka).
Well, coz he’s not my type back then (hehe ... jaman2 itu gue lebih seneng cowok yang kulitnya cenderung gelap dibandingin cowok2 berkulit putih yang menurut gue jadi menimbulkan kesan “imut” dan bukannya “laki”), gue jadi nggak hafal sama namanya.

Setelah agak2 basa-basi busuk ...

Temen yang pernah sekampus: “Sama siapa, Yu?”
Gue: “Sama nyokap ‘n adik gue.” (sembari sok2 cari nyokap, yang ternyata daritadi berdiri tepat di samping gue) “Kenalin, ini nyokap gue.”
Temen yang pernah sekampus: “B..., Tante.”
Gue: “Ini temen SMA Ayu. Yang itu juga.” (masih berusaha mengingat2 siapa namanya, sambil berharap dia nyebutin nama.)
Temen SMA gue yang kulitnya kayak salju itu: “F....”
Oalah!!! Iya ... Ternyata itu si F...
Gemblungnya nih, abis kita dadah2, gue jadi senyum2 sendiri dan niat banget untuk cari buku tahunan SMA gue begitu sampe di rumah cuma bakal liat fotonya si F...
Gimana nggak? Si F... sekarang malah tambah cihuy, dan setelah gue pikir2, dia mirip banget sama salah satu bintang Jepang kesayangan gue, Imai Tsubasa. (meskipun Tsuba-chi kulitnya lebih gelap dibandingin F...)

Malemnya nyokap traktir makan all you can eat di Gang Gang Sullai yang bikin gue nambah, nambah, dan nambah tanpa mikirin perut gue yang nyaris meledak sampe musti buka kancing jeans gue (Please don’t try this at home :D). Hmmmmm ... Nyam nyam !!!!!

- 13 Mei 2007 -

Kawinan Heboh

2007-05-14T17:17:00.001+07:00

Gue baru aja pulang dari kawinan Mba Leni di Balai Kartini dengan rombongan gedumbret.
Yang gue panggil dengan rombongan gedumbret itu: gue, nyokap, Mama, Papa, Opa (bokapnya Papa), Oma (nyokapnya Papa), Tante Ati (sahabatnya Mama) ‘n Aswin (anaknya Tante Ati).
Kita dateng sendiri2 dan ketemuan di sana untuk masuk bareng.
Begitu sampe, infotanment udah rame di depan.
Ini serius INFOTAINMENT loh !!! Coz bokapnya Leni dulunya (ato masih? Gue nggak tau persis) adalah salah satu dari pengacara yang biasa ngurusin kasus selebritis.
Bisa keliatan dari MC-nya aja Farhan. Terus gue sempet liat ada Elsa Syarif, sempet denger Nia Daniati nyumbang beberapa lagu, bahkan yang tadinya gue pikir Anwar Fuadi pas gue liat dari jauh, ternyata Sutiyoso aja gituh ...

Begitu mempelainya masuk gedung ... Tereroret jijing ... Mba Leni cantiiiiikkkk banget !!!!
Dia pake kebaya warna gold gitu, terus pake songket senada, dan kanan-kiri rambutnya yang tersanggul dikasih sumping kayak putri2 raja.
Sayang banget gue nggak bawa kamera ‘n HP gue nggak bisa dipake buat foto jarak jauh.
Ada kameranya Papa sih ... Tapi pasti foto itu langsung dicetak ‘n dibawa ke NZ untuk dipamerin ke sepupu gue. (Mereka nggak seberapa ngerti dengan teknologi canggih yang memungkinkan foto2 itu disimpen di dalem PC ato laptop. Hxhx ... Untungnya gue sempet foto2 narcist sebelum pergi :p)
Dan Fiza, suaminya, (baru kali ini gue liat versi live-nya) mirip sama Bams vokalisnya Samsons. Bedanya Fiza lebih putih aja.

Gue yakin kalo kawinan Mba Leni itu pake jasa Wedding Organizer secara banyak cowok pake baju item2 berdasi dan pake alat komunikasi seliweran wara-wiri. And FYI, mereka cakep2!
Nyebelinnya niy ... secara yang pada “dituakan” dapet tempat duduk di seksi VIP, jadilah gue “dititipin” ke Aswin.
Rencana mau jelalatan, eh, malah berasa punya body guard dadakan... Hxhxhxhx...

Waktu ada acara lempar bunga, gue nggak ngeh gitu secara gue masih sibuk memamah-biak.

Padahal, door prizenya, TV Plasma 32 Inch aja getoooohhh !!!

Untunglah gue sibuk ngurusin perut. Coz mereka pada injek2an sampe pada jatoh segala demi dapetin tu bunga :p

Lucunya lagi, nyokap cerita kalo Mama telepon sepupu gue dan ceritain suasana di gedung.
Sepupu gue katanya sedih berat gitu karena ngerasa keilangan banget. Kesian juga siy dengernya.
Tapi itu adalah indikator bahwa yang namanya KARMA ternyata emang bener ada.
Sebelum pulang kita juga sempet ketemu sama mantan sepupu gue yang pernah gue ceritain, Mba Put.
Untunglah sepupu gue nggak bisa pulang karena nggak dapet tiket.
Baru ditelepon kasih info selayang pandang aja dia udah kalang-kabut, gimana kalo dia dateng dan ketemu sama dua mantannya sekaligus? Bisa stres pada anak ntar :D

Anyway, paling nggak Mba Leni udah nemuin kebahagiaannya dan gue mendoakan semoga Mba Leni dan Fiza bisa langgeng, awet sampe kakek-nenek :)

-- It makes me more believing that the best thing will come at last, what ever it is ;) --

- 12 Mei 2007 -

Bukan Sepenuhnya Salah Mereka

2007-05-11T14:36:00.000+07:00

-- Buat para cewek yang baca, gue bukannya mau menghakimi kaum kita. Tapi ini hanya sekedar logika belaka dan lagi2 pengandaian yang gue tumpahin dalam bentuk tulisan. Hidup Ibu kita Kartini!!!! Lho??? --

Dengan berat hati gue akuin -- dan gue yakin ada juga gue2 lainnya di luar sana -- gue pribadi adalah tipe cewek yang nggak suka diatur2 dan nggak mau kalah. Gue punya mau, dan gue juga punya prinsip. Prinsip gue yang terbesar di saat berhadapan dengan cowok, ‘Kalo emang bisa menang, kenapa harus kalah?’ Yang gue sadarin juga, gue nggak suka berada di bawah cowok. Gue selalu berusaha memposisikan diri gue equal dengan dia. Bukan di atasnya, catet, tapi sejajar. Tuntutan tak tertulis gue dalam suatu hubungan serius dengan cowok adalah dia boleh aja minta gue melakukan sesuatu, tapi dengan alasan yang bisa gue terima dengan logika gue. Dan seandainya gue berbeda pendapat dengan dia, dia harus mau dengerin (bukan ngikutin kayak sapi dicocok idungnya) pendapat gue dan kita berdua mencoba untuk combine keinginan dia dan gue di satu kesepakatan yang kita ambil bersama. Gue nggak akan terima kalo dia memaksakan kehendak ato nyuruh2 gue untuk begini ato begitu. Gue pasti akan ikhlas melakukan sesuatu yang ada embel2 “tolong” daripada “harus”. Gue yakin, kalo kata “harus” itu yang keluar, there will be a war between us. Well, itulah hal yang gue sadari dari diri gue.

Tapi dari pengalaman2 pribadi gue, baik pertemanan dengan cowok maupun pacaran, sebagian besar membuat gue tertuntut untuk selangkah lebih maju dari mereka. Karena ketika kita dihadepin ke suatu masalah, biasanya gue yang harus bisa nemuin jalan keluarnya lebih dulu. Karena ketika mereka punya mau dan akhirnya ngambek kalo keinginannya nggak diikutin, gue jadi nggak enak ati dan ikutin keinginan mereka. Karena ketika mereka nangis, gue harus menemukan 1001 cara untuk nenangin mereka. Karena ketika mereka bingung dan ngerasa takut akan sesuatu, gue ngerasa harus melindungi mereka. Pada akhirnya, apa yang ada di buku teks jadi berbeda jauh dari prakteknya. Dan gue menemukan banyak cewek yang mirip dengan gue. We want to be a hero for them, but actually we do it in the wrong way without realizing.

Akhirnya, realita menunjukkan, kecenderungan cewek jaman sekarang adalah nggak mau kalah; tendensius untuk bisa ada di atas cowok; masih bisa dibodohi dengan strategi lihai cowok untuk ikutin keinginan terselubung mereka supaya mereka nggak perlu bersusah payah dalam mendapatkan sesuatu; merasa posisinya aman kalo seorang cowok lebih bergantung kepada dirinya karena dengan begitu cowok itu akan terus mencari dia dan bukan orang lain; merasa bahagia kalau bisa memanjakan cowok yang dia sayang baik dari segi material maupun spiritual; dll., dll. Jadi, sebenernya tanpa kita sadari, justru kita sendiri yang mendidik para cowok ini untuk jadi cowok2 pemalas bermental tempe.

Kalau gue bisa ngelontarin pertanyaan, siapa sih yang nggak seneng diperhatiin? Siapa yang nggak seneng bisa jadi “seseorang yang sangat berarti”? Siapa yang nggak seneng dimanja? Siapa yang nggak seneng diayomin? Siapa yang nggak seneng kalo semua kebutuhannya terpenuhi tanpa harus berusaha? Siapa yang nggak bangga dianggep sebagai orang yang paling berjasa atas seseorang? Siapa yang nggak seneng dijadiin raja/ratu? Semua orang, nggak cewek, nggak cowok, pastilah seneng. Tapi sekarang semua ini udah salah kaprah. Dan yang gue nggak suka, karena kebanyakan dari cowok2 itu sekarang udah bukan lagi ‘pangeran berkuda putih’ yang akan berjuang sampe titik darah penghabisan demi kita.

Gue amat sangat setuju dengan adanya emansipasi wanita. Gue juga amat sangat setuju dengan adanya posisi equal dalam hubungan antara cewek dan cowok.
Tapi di suatu saat nanti, kalo dalam urusan rumah tangga misalnya si istri dengan semangat ’45 pingin mengkudeta posisi suami untuk ada di atas suami dan menjabat sebagai kepala rumah tangga, menurut gue, selain si istri lupa dengan kodratnya sebagai tulang rusuk Adam, yang paling parah berarti dia juga punya kecenderungan bodoh.
Kenapa bodoh?
Cita2 gue yang mudah2an kesampean (amin), gue nggak mau punya suami yang leyeh2 nganggur di rumah ato kerja seadanya cuma bakal cap kalo dia punya pekerjaan, sementara gue sibuk banting tulang siang-malem untuk nafkahin keluarga.
Dan gue juga nggak mau punya suami yang tiap kali ada masalah justru majuin gue untuk mikir mati2an demi mecahin masalah sementara dia berlindung di balik punggung gue, atawa ngacir entah kemana, atawa tau beresnya aja, atawa cuci tangan kalo seandainya jalan yang gue pilihin salah.
Itu makanya gue bilang istri model begitu punya kecenderungan bodoh.
Kenapa kita harus bersusah payah ngerjain kewajiban laki2 sekaligus kewajiban kita sendiri?
Emangnya para lelaki itu mau, pulang kerja bantuin kita urus anak, masak, nyuci, nyetrika, dan di akhir minggu ngelupain waktu istirahatnya untuk bantu2 beres rumah, belanja, dan ngurusin segala tetek-bengeknya? Pasti mereka bakal kasih alesan, “Lho, itu kan tugas perempuan.”

Secara teoretis gue terpikir satu cara yang bisa kita, cewek2, bikin untuk mencegah ‘emansipasi pria’ (secara menurut gue, emansipasi jenis ini justru akan memunahkan habitat pria dan menjadikan seluruh dunia ini “wanita berbeda alat kelamin”) supaya nggak berkembang pesat, meskipun pada pelaksanaannya gue rasa nggak akan gampang dan harus ngeraba2 secara tiap orang pasti punya sifat yang berbeda.
Tumbuhin rasa saling membutuhkan dan menghormati dan bukannya rasa saling ketergantungan.
Bedanya tipis emang antara membutuhkan dengan ketergantungan.

Kalo seseorang punya rasa ketergantungan pada orang lain, dia akan bikin orang itu nggak bisa bergerak bebas dengan kenggakberdayaan dan kenggakPDan yang dia punya.
Huidih ... Kalo itu jatohnya di cowok, kita sebagai cewek bisa apes tujuh turunan :D
Sementara kalo jatohnya di cewek, yah, masih ada sejuta pemakluman lah. Secara menurut primbon nenek moyang ‘Perempuan adalah makhluk yang lemah’, ketergantungan pada lawan jenis yang berarti berbanding terbalik, lebih kuat, bisa jadi dasar pembenaran :p
Beda dengan rasa saling membutuhkan.
Saling membutuhkan numbuhin rasa ada yang kurang meskipun tanpa diapun loe tau kalo loe nggak akan kenapa2. You just feel incomplete without him/her dan bukannya can’t live without him/her. Sementara rasa menghormati bisa bikin kita sama2 menghormati kewajiban dan hak pasangan kita bahwa apa yang harus kita lakukan sebagai perempuan ataupun yang harus mereka lakukan sebagai laki2 emang sama berat dan sama pentingnya.

Gue bukannya mau ngajarin munafik. Tapi sekali waktu, dalam suatu hal (bukan semua hal, lho. Bisa2 ‘tu cowok ngacir secara dia bakal ngerasa kita jadi beban buat dia), perlulah kita bikin mereka merasa kita membutuhkan mereka dan tanpa mereka kita nggak bisa apa2 (walaupun mungkin kita pasti bisa bikin itu tanpa pertolongan mereka), tapi di waktu yang lain kita juga harus bisa atur strategi supaya mereka juga merasa membutuhkan kita dan tanpa kita, mereka ngerasa nggak sempurna.
Karena, ada satu hal juga yang gue pelajari, di saat gue merasa cowok gue bisa melakukan semua hal sendiri tanpa membutuhkan keberadaan dan bantuan gue, gue ngerasa apa arti dan gunanya gue buat dia?
Gue sebagai cewek aja bisa ngerasa begitu, apalagi mereka sebagai cowok yang notabene lebih membutuhkan rasa "dibutuhkan" itu?

Emansipasi Pria

2007-05-11T14:23:00.000+07:00

-- Sebelumnya, buat para cowok yang baca, ini cuma hasil pemikiran dan pengandaian gue semata. Kalo ada yang merasa tersinggung dan merasa ada kemiripan dengan apa yang gue tulis, coba tanyakan pada diri sendiri. Mungkinkah kalian adalah salah satu anggota gerombolan pengusung panji2 emansipasi pria? --

Posting terakhir di blognya Ichank cukup menarik. (Buat gue, menarik banget malah!)
Kenapa tendensinya, kebanyakan cowok jaman sekarang lebih banyak bergantung sama cewek dan kenapa juga dalam banyak hal, cewek bisa lebih unggul dari cowok?
Gue pikir2, ya juga siy.
Apa karena ada emansipasi wanita, para cowok ini juga nggak mau kalah dan pingin punya term emansipasi pria?
Yang gue baca dari buku sejarah, emansipasi wanita ada karena dulu cewek nggak boleh ato nggak perlu sekolah tinggi. Cewek dianggep warga kelas dua. Nggak penting buat cewek sekolah tinggi karena buntut2nya setelah berumah tangga tempat cewek itu di dapur. Dalam pekerjaan, orang jaman dulu menganggap cewek adalah makhluk yang lemah dan harus selalu bergantung sama cowok. Nggak semua pekerjaan cowok bisa dibikin sama cewek. Apalagi pekerjaan yang membutuhkan kekuatan fisik.
Buat gue pribadi, emansipasi wanita adalah satu kondisi di mana cewek diberikan kesempatan yang sama dengan cowok, baik dari segi pendidikan, juga pekerjaan, tentunya tergantung kemampuan masing2 individu.

Nah, kalo akhirnya emansipasi pria itu akhirnya dikukuhkan dan dimasukin ke dalam kamus, apa yang bakal terjadi?
Coba ya gue pikir2 dulu.
Kalo ada emansipasi pria ... Hmmm ... Oooo ... Gue punya satu contoh kasus yang konkrit.
Gue punya satu sahabat cowok. Dulu, waktu dia baru2 bisa nyetir mobil, dia dengan rela jemput gue kalo kita mau pergi kemana2. Tapi setelah gue bisa nyetir, tiap kali gue ajak dia jalan, dia selalu bilang, “Jemput gue dong. Katanya emansipasi wanita. Jadi, nggak ada salahnya kan kalo loe jemput gue?”
Yang ada di kepala gue, ‘Kurang ajar ‘ni bocah. Emansipasi sih emansipasi. Dalam hal apa dulu dong? Kalo ini mah namanya bukan emansipasi. Tapi dasar loe-nya aja yang manja sekaligus PEMALAS, ditambah murahan!’
Ada kasus lain, satu temen cowok gue bilang, “Isiin gue bensin yee... O iya, ntar traktir gue makan di resto anu yaa... Kalo mau pake nonton, yang penting dibayarin. Hari gini udah nggak jaman cowok yang harus bayarin cewek. Gantian dong cewek yang bayarin cowok. Kan emansipasi. Yang penting kan gue nemenin loe.”
Yang ada di kepala gue, ‘Prasyarat macem apa itu? Bilang aja kalo loe nggak mau keluar duit! Dasar cowok MATRE! Pelit amat sih jadi orang?’
Lain lagi kasus temen gue. Suatu hari dia ngeluh sama gue, “Ampun deh cowok gue! Emang salah sih gue. Gara2 kebiasaan papernya gue yang bikinin, sekalinya gue emang bener2 nggak sempet bikinin dia karena paper gue sendiri keteteran, dia malah bilang gue perhitunganlah, nggak sayang sama dialah, nggak ngertiin dialah, mana pake ngomel2, marah2, udah kayak cewek aja.”
Yang ada di kepala gue, ‘Lah, kenapa jadi loe yang ngerasa salah? Gue berani tarohan. Kalo dia sekarang putus sama loe, bisa cuma tamatan SMA kali cowok loe ‘tu!!!! Nggak bermasa depan banget sih? Mau jadi apa ‘tu orang?’
Ada lagi beberapa kasus yang pernah juga gue alamin sendiri, di mana ada tipikal cowok yang tiap kali punya masalah yang dia nggak ngerti jalan keluarnya ato terlalu takut ngadepin kenyataan yang ada di depan mata, ngelakuin satu dari dua alternatif. Alternatif yang pertama, lari dari kenyataan dengan sebisa mungkin gonta-ganti topik pembicaraan biar nggak ngebahas masalah. Kalo masih ngerasa dicecer dengan masalah itu, langsung pasang jurus marah tanda tak mampu. Alternatif kedua, nangis.
Yang ada di pikiran gue, ‘Buseeetttt !!!! Udah pengecut, cengeng pula! Mending sunat abis aja deh ‘tu ***** loe! Dasar mental tempe!’
Masih banyak kasus2 lainnya yang kalo gue sebutin bisa pegel2 tangan gue ngetiknya :p

Jadi sebenernya, apa gunanya emansipasi cowok? Supaya mereka bisa peras tenaga dan pikiran cewek tanpa berusaha? Supaya mereka bisa nabung untuk keperluan hobby mereka? Supaya mereka bisa ngomel2 kayak cewek tanpa dicap sebagai kakek bawel secara istilah itu emang belum ada? Supaya mereka bisa menitikkan air mata tanpa dibilang banci? Supaya mereka bisa dapetin babu ato supir gratis?
Dan kalau emang term emansipasi cowok emang berhasil mereka kukuhin, mau mereka, para cowok ini, apa? Melahirkan generasi2 cowok pelit, ato cowok pengecut, ato cowok lemah, ato bencong, ato cowok kardus, ato justru berlomba2 menciptakan term ‘drama king’?
Pertanyaan gue, apakah mereka rela kalo mereka nggak dianggep cowok lagi? Apa mereka ikhlas kalo mereka bukannya berdiri di atas ato sejajar sama kita, para cewek, tapi justru ada di bawah kita dan ikutin semua perintah kita? Dan apakah mereka masih bisa bangga dengan itu semua? Gue udah tau apa yang pasti mereka jawab: NGGAK!
So, kalo mereka emang laki2 sejati, dan di suatu titik mereka berpikir sedalem mungkin dengan menyertakan hati nurani mereka, seharusnya mereka udah sampai di suatu pemikiran: kenapa mereka justru sekarang secara nggak sadar berusaha membuat term emansipasi cowok itu exist?

Tapi kalo kita buka mata lebar2, inilah yang terjadi sama cowok2 jaman sekarang. Ngeliat realita yang ada, semua teori turun-temurun dari jaman nenek moyang yang menyangkut “kejantanan” ato “kegentlemanan” cowok udah kadaluarsa kalau dipake di jaman ini. Minjem kata2nya Ichank, inilah yang lagi happening. Dan secara nggak langsung, mereka membentuk kita, para cewek, untuk jadi individu2 yang lebih unggul dari mereka karena kita tertuntut untuk lebih berani, mandiri dengan ato tanpa kehadiran mereka, dan kita juga harus belajar untuk menyeimbangkan logika dengan perasaan.
Di balik itu semua, suka nggak suka, mau ataupun nggak mau mengakui, sebenernya kehadiran cowok2 you-can-call-them-anything ini bukan sepenuhnya salah mereka. Kita, para cewek, sedikit-banyak juga ikut andil di dalamnya ...